Me Vs Myself

Heya Everyone!! Sorry it’s been so long! Read life attacked again... well, not really... The truth is I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to write for the next post. But before we dive into that, let's catch up!

I recently celebrated a pretty big milestone. I turned twenty-one! Woohoo! Right? Not really, I wanted to pretend it never happened. That it was just another day. I couldn’t figure out what was worth celebrating. I haven’t done anything exciting since I turned twenty. This isn’t what I had imagined my life would be like. I wanted to be in a stable relationship, with a well-paying job, a bachelor degree, and someone who loved me. What I am, is single for going on four years now. I live with my parents. I’m neck-deep in debt I’m not going to be able to pay off anytime soon and sinking deeper with each passing week. I work for minimum wage in a job I don’t really see myself staying in past the end of the year. I’m back at university, and I have nothing to my name.

On an upside I met my future husband... well, again, not really... I have a new celebrity crush. Another unrealistic fantasy to add to the growing list of things I’ll never achieve. I mean, he’s fantastic, he can sing, has a great personality and he’s handsome as hell, and I’m... well I’m little old me. Just another pathetic fangirl living in another world, Why would someone like him spare a glance at someone like me when he has models hanging off his arms. When someone else can offer him the world and all I have are the chains of debt.

So I suppose in summary, right now my life is pretty crap. At least, that’s what the voice in my head tells me.

The other night I was talking with an amazing young woman, who has the life I dreamed I’d be living at twenty-one, and she’s not happy. She compares herself to everyone, pointing out her flaws like they were flashing neon signs in a pitch black world. She fought against every nice thing I said but refused to let me do the same to myself. Every harsh word I said about myself was met with instant argument.

You wouldn’t let your friend talk about themselves like that, so why is it okay to do it to yourself? Since when did we become our own worst enemy? When did we decide that the voice in our head was allowed to be so harsh? When did it become so hard to see the good things about ourselves? When did we start comparing ourselves to the people we see around us? Define our self-worth by how we don’t measure up to them?

Ever since my messy break-up I’ve been learning to love myself. I’ve been teaching the voice in my head to say ‘yes, those are your flaws, but look at all this good stuff.’ I’ve been teaching myself to find the good things about myself and cling onto that as I’m battered by the storms that come with comparing myself to someone else. Someone who I know is doing the exact same thing to themselves. The perfect person I see thinking that they’re imperfect, looking up to someone else, listening to that voice in their head as they list their flaws on repeat.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to let the voice in my head drag me down. I’m refusing to let it ruin my own life.

Because finding flaws in ourselves is way too easy to do. It’s normal, it’s what we combat when we see another person doing better than us. When we pick up a magazine and see flawless bodies we can only dream of having. When our friends celebrate things we wished we had accomplished.

We’ve started relying on others to make us feel good about ourselves. When the only people who truly can make us happy is ourselves. When we start seeing the good rather than the bad. A thousand people can tell you you're beautiful, but you will never truly believe it until you see it for yourself. A hundred people can tell you they love something about you, but if you keep calling it a flaw that’s all it will ever be.

If your friends talked to you the way the voice in your head does, would you still be their friend?

So yeah, my life isn’t what I imagined it to be, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have learnt so much and grown even more. I have met people and made the most amazing friends. I started chasing my dreams and realised that I will sacrifice anything to see them come true. I’ve started to love myself, for my flaws, because they make me who I am, and who I am is exactly what the world needs. I’ve stopped listening to the voice in my head that tells me I am not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, because that voice is a liar. That voice is keeping me from everything I know I can be.

I might not ever marry that celebrity crush, but not because I’m just little old me. Little old me is perfect the way I am. I am amazing, I am fantastic, I am everything I look up to in someone else, or I’m learning to be that person.

And so are you.

So I beg of you, stop letting that voice in your head hold you back. Make it your friend and your greatest ally or tell it to get lost. Turn your I can not's into I can and I will. Learn to love yourself. To see yourself the way everyone around you sees you.

Because the only thing holding you back, is yourself.

Tell yourself five good things about yourself. Drown out your faults and flaws with your achievements and the things you like about yourself. You are your own greatest weakness and your greatest strength.

Stop holding yourself back. Stop listening to that voice. Learn to love yourself, because it’s worth it.

I promise.

Dearest America

Christine Grimmie, Singer.  The Orlando shootings, Pulse Nightclub. Downtown Oakland. A total of 53 people dead. 56 reported physically harmed. Hundreds will never be the same again. In four days you lost 53 people to three people with guns. In four days. In 2016, 6 017 people have died at the end of a gun in America. We are halfway through the year.

259 of these were children younger than 11 years old. 1 309 of these were teenagers, never making it to their 18th birthday. (Data from: http://www.gunviolencearchive.org/) I do not have enough hours in a year to tell you the name of each of these people. I do not have enough time in a decade to tell you how many lives these shootings have ruined.

All I have heard from America in these last few days after the shooting is people defending their right to bear arms. Arguing against the tighter gun controls your country is screaming for, defending your second amendment, your right as an individual to bear arms.

Your right to bear arms makes your country unsafe. You’ve had more shootings than there are days of the year, - and we’re not even halfway through. How long do you expect people to feel sorry for you? How long is this going to be normalised? Because your right to bear arms is more important than my right to feel safe.

As an article from the satire paper, the Onion put it in 2015. [There is] ‘"No way to prevent this." Says the only country in the world where this happens regularly.’ You are the only first world country to have this problem. The only country. Mass shootings, Casual Shootings, accidental shootings. You carry guns like they are water and you’re lost in the middle of a desert. You are not. What you are, quite frankly, is stupid.  

Your right to bear arms is not more important than someone else’s safety. It’s not more important than the thousands of young lives lost every year in school shootings. It’s not more important than the thousands of lives lost every year to people with guns.

Your right to bear arms should not mean full assault rifles are easier to buy than a chocolate toy. You ban Kinder Surprise yet allow a man on a terrorist watch list to buy a full assault rifle? Your right to bare arms does not mean that anyone should be able to walk into a store and walk out with a gun and enough ammunition to murder that many people in one go. Your right to bear arms should not be more important than the six thousand lives lost this year alone.

Imagine raising your child with the knowledge that they killed your significant other with the gun that was just lying around. Accidental fire from within a bag. Then blame your child, because your right to bear arms is more important. Because it can’t be the guns fault, guns don’t kill people, people kill people. - Realise how stupid this all sounds yet?

Your right to bear arms makes it easier for radical people to force their ideals down the throats of everyone else. Your right to bear arms makes it dangerous to be anything other than what you want to see. Your right to bear arms is quelling diversity and making those who long to be themselves stay quiet, hidden in plain sight. Your right to bear arms has become more important than their right to be themselves. Your right to bear arms has become more important than their right to freedom. What’s your favourite saying again? America, land of the free?

Your right to bear arms make it harder for those LGBTQA people to feel safe in their own country. Makes it easier for the minority that disagrees to have the loudest voice. A single gunshot screaming over thousands of peaceful voices. Your right to bear arms is defining your country. Your right to bear arms is killing your youth. Your right to bear arms is more important than people's right to feel safe. Does anyone else see something wrong with this?

Your right to bear arms makes it way too easy for anyone to get a gun and go on a rampage. Your right to bare arms means there's an average of 93 guns to every 100 people in America. Your right to bear arms is the reason these tragedies keep hitting you again and again and again. Why your youth are crying in pain and your families are being torn apart. You continually blame people, religion, race, yet do nothing to try stop these people getting their hands on such dangerous weapons. You do nothing to prevent the next tragedy. You quote your right to bear arms as if it will solve all your problems. Get your head out of your arse, because it won’t. Your right to bear arms makes your country dangerous.

Your right to bear arms means someone like me, thousands of miles away in a country you probably haven't even heard of, is in tears. Your right to bear arms is the reason why I am horrified by the thought moving to your country. One of the best places to be for the career I want. Your right to bear arms is the reason I am terrified for my little sister. The winner of a scholarship to study within your borders. The reason I will put aside my fear and move, because she will need the support system when this happens near her, to someone she knows, someone she loves. Your right to bear arms has me terrified that I will lose her. The reason why I will argue this case from thousands of miles away. I will not lose my sister because your right to bear arms is more important than her right to live.

Honestly, do you really believe that your right to bear arms worth all these lives? What if it was your child, your lover or your best friend that's the next victim. Is your right to bare arms worth losing them forever? Is your right to bare arms worth the pain that will never ever go away?

Is your right to bear arms really worth it?

Dearest America, I implore you to think about it. Consider those victims are those you hold closest to your heart, and tell me once more. Your right to bear arms is more important than their safety.
#AmericaLandOfTheFreeGuns

My thoughts and sympathies are with everyone that's been affected by gun violence. Not just in America but all over the globe. I want to assure you that you are more important and that you mean the world to someone. That gun violence isn't something we're willing to take sitting down.

Kia Kaha, Rest in Peace, #LoveIsLove,

Rose

The Un-public Hoilday

Hey, so I wrote this a while ago... then I lost it... now I found it! So another opinion style piece.

As another public holiday looms closer, the country's thoughts become divided. Those fortunate enough to work in offices plan their weekends away. When to leave to avoid the traffic, if taking the kids away from school early is a good idea, what to do with pets... The rest of us? We plan for a busy weekend at work. Lines of people packing the store, all cranky with everyone else.

Public Holidays are no longer ‘public’ and to claim them as such is a lie. In fact, there isn’t one day in the calendar year that every single person isn’t required to work. People work Christmas. Even more get upset that the supermarket has the audacity to be closed two days a year.

Since when did the world end because you couldn’t go shopping that day? Since when could we not plan enough in advance to cope with such a catastrophe? Since when did these so called ‘public holidays’ become days for shopping? More important than the family and holiday that we’re supposed to be celebrating.

Public holidays shouldn’t be days where staff panic about long queues and being abused by those fortunate enough to have the day off. Time and a half and a day in lieu the only motivation to walk through the door those days. To deal with insane business and impatient customers who are redeemed only the amusement their foolishness provides.

But I can’t place the blame just on public holidays. Weekends are no longer days off either. Fridays not really the last day of  work for this exact same group of the workforce. The people who work for minimum wage and countless hours so that anyone can shop whenever they desire. So those that work Monday to Fridays can catch up on their weekly shopping needs.

More and more we’re hearing an outcry that our youth aren’t spending enough time with their families and interacting with the world around them. Most people blame cellphones, tablets, and computers. Say that social media’s taking over. I’d like to suggest it’s these lack of ‘family’ days. That our youth have disengaged from sports because they know that their hand working parents don’t have the weekends free to transport them to games, nor cheer them on from the sidelines.

We as a society value work more than we value family. We have no respect for taking time off to spend with those we hold dear to us. We work to provide for them, but fail to remember that money can’t solve everything. That we cannot dedicate the time our families need when we work weekends and public holidays.

Public holidays, like weekends, have become just another work day for a vast majority of New Zealand’s workforce, and that, in itself is a shame. How bad is it that we as a society cannot cope for a day without our shops. That we’d rather have people working public holidays to serve us rather than being home and spending time with family members.

Rise Against Pancake Queen.

So I wrote this while on University holidays when my friends and I went away for a bit, and I only just found it again! It was my practise for Journalism.

Rise Against Pancake Queen:

Customers unhappy with the wait times at local pancake chain have decided to take on the Pancake Queen at her own game. Starting a nearby all day breakfast diner.

“The Two Hour Wait for breakfast was just ridiculous.” Claimed one unhappy customer, storming out of the Pancake Queen with small children in tow.

“Pancake Paradise was opened because we wanted to feed people with good healthy food so they could have the best possible start to their day without the hassle of waiting for long periods of time.” The Primary investor spoke anonymously to us within their own restaurant, a coffee clutched between her hands.

“I wish Pancake Paradise all the best with what they are trying to do, but there is a reason we are called the Pancake Queen. We have loyal customers who know we are the best, which is why the wait times are slowly getting longer. Good quality takes time, and we’re very thankful for those who understand this concept.” The Pancake Queen herself said, inviting us behind the scenes where chefs manned multiple stoves each, pancakes flipping through the air every few seconds. Plates laden disappearing out the doors as soon as they were loaded.

“Right now we have just started this venture, I would like to let our results speak for themselves.” The Owner of Pancake Paradise, Phillip Jones, spared only a second to talk to us, between taking orders and running plates out.

Judging by the large sign in the window of Pancake Paradise that the start-up company was still searching for waitstaff. It is off to a promising start, only time will tell if it can hold up against Pancake Queen.

Pancake Paradise is open from 6am until 4pm, with both indoor and outdoor seating. A wide variety of drinks and breakfasts are available. Pancake Paradise can be found at 125 Mokoia Road.

Pancake Queen is open from 6am until noon. They only offer Pancakes, and these are available for takeaway or eat in. Located at 65 Apple Tree Lane.

Note: This story is a gross exaggeration of events that took place while I was on holiday. Both these places to not exist, therefore, please do not try to visit them. In the defence of Pancake Queen, she was unsure of how to work the stove top in the place we were staying.